As a woman, I have never liked that sex has been used to oppress us. To make us feel bad and to serve as a tool men used to demean women. A kind of blackmail. A form of discrimination.
During my training as a Sex Coach, I reaffirmed that we are still very far from normalizing sex.
Now, as a cyberpsychologist, after seeing and reading all the information and data, I’ve had to sit down and reflect on this again.
Some time ago, I shared a reflection on how the internet is dragging us, as women, back into positions I thought had already been overcome.
A Catalan friend recommended I watch the documentary by TV3 Group — it’s not new — and something clicked in my mind.
I saw well-known experts such as José Luis García Fernández, and I discovered outstanding professionals like Marina Marroquí.
I’ve watched 2 out of the 3 parts — I still have one left — but right now one question keeps going round and round in my head:
At what point has pornography been interpreted as sex education?
Are we really this uneducated when it comes to sex education?
These are rhetorical questions because the answer is obviously yes. And I don’t know what shocks me more, because it’s not that I wasn’t aware of all this. I’ve read about it, I’ve studied it, but perhaps watching the documentary and hearing teenagers themselves speak has made me realize just how normalized sexual violence has become in an entire generation (or more).
I have two nieces aged 13 and 16, and seeing this normalization of sexual violence made me feel sick. And I’m sorry for what I’m about to say — maybe I’m reacting emotionally after watching the documentary — but all those understanding, modern parents, friends with their children… haven’t they noticed this? I try not to say this because I’m not a mother and I know the response is “what would you know,” but for years now I’ve had doubts about whether we’ve instilled enough VALUES in the generations coming after us. Some keep quiet to avoid offending, others to avoid being seen as the bad ones.
I’m one of those who has always hated (and still hates) the lyrics of a certain music genre. I find them insulting, disturbing, completely unnecessary. In my car, my nieces have already lost the battle when it comes to playing that kind of music. But it’s hard not to doubt yourself when it’s the music played on every radio station. At times, you end up thinking you’re the odd one.
Thanks to this documentary, I’ve realized that enough is enough.
I have no idea —yet— where the turning point lies between freedom, equality, female empowerment, and being dragged along by unhealthy forms of manipulation. What I do know is that we are arriving too late to set healthy boundaries and provide proper sex education.
I’m sharing the link to the second video while I let settle the long list of thoughts I currently have about where women stand in all of this.
https://www.3cat.cat/3cat/genaracio-porno-la-pressio-social/video/6241623/
I’m sharing my reflection on Substack and, if you can vote on what you think about this issue, I’d love to hear your opinion.
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